Monday, December 8, 2008

OK this is it - I'M DOING THIS NOW...

Ok this is it – I’m doing this NOW (in a guilt free tone)….

I have been cranky lately, part of it is because the job that I love has had to reduce my hours in order to keep everyone working, partly because I added a second job, which is keeping my mind off of the first job’s reduced hours, and partly because I miss my running! Yes, I miss my running. With two jobs, and the holidays, I feel like going for a run is a luxury. I feel like going for a run takes away time from my husband, which is very slim these days as I’m always going to/coming from or tired from a 16 hr. work day. I feel guilty for wanting to take the time to go for a run. I feel guilty because I have another marathon on December 20th which will wipe me out for a whole Saturday right before Christmas. But most of all I feel guilty for feeling guilty. My parents raised me better than this, I can do what I want, I can make myself a better person, I can be a marathon maniac (even if I couldn’t do it in Las Vegas – again due to the whole job hours cut/two jobs issue). So that being said – I AM DOING THIS NOW, I AM GOING TO GO RUNNING WHEN I WANT!! Even if it means no quiet mornings at home or sleeping-in one day a week – I can’t be happy until I go running. So that being said tonight I’m going to take Darby, my steadfast running partner with me and we are going running after work (I only have one work today – later this week will be a little more problematic, but I’ll get there when I get there). On tonight’s run we will have a few goals; run by the glow of our headlamps (yes, she wears one too, she needs to see the sidewalk also), run in the cold (but thankfully not rain), look at all of the Christmas lights, run down the big hill by the high school and run back up it, and the most important thing – decide on running a 50k with Michelle and Rick on the 20th as my last goal in obtaining my Marathon Maniac status – well at least try and talk myself into it – as Michelle says, it’s only 5 more miles than a marathon….

I thought about making a list here that includes all of the items that I am not able to get done because I am out running, but I don’t think that works too well with my guilt-free mantra. So, let the list grow, I’ll get to everything later, I mean really, who cares if I don’t get the cards out early, or the dusting goes another week (or month, whatever), I’ll do that stuff later and probably better and faster after I have gone for a run.

I read Cyndi’s blog and she is so dang positive about her running, that it occurred to me that my running is for me, it is my time away, it is what makes me happy right now, I need my runner’s high back….

So her is to making & taking time for me - no strings attached.

Run Macha Run!


Backofpack said...

Funny, the topic of my parent class today was stress - adult and child. In our discussion about adult stress we talked about how important self care is in managing it. Self care includes five areas: physical (running), psychological (running), social (running), spiritual (running) and intellectual (maybe not running). Funny how running fulfills four out of five self care categories. And of course, the premise is, that we can't take care of anything well unless we take care of our selves first. That includes husband and children and housework and two jobs. Macha run! It's good for you and it will improve all aspects of your life.

Also, no worries on the 50K. Rick is only running the marathon. He said he'd wait at the aid station if we go farther. I am happy with the marathon because I am now doing a double on the 31st/1st.

Run Jessica run!

robtherunner said...

Jessica, do you really want to start listening to Michelle? That woman is crazy I tell ya. Take the time out to run. You're well worth it.