I'm coming back......

I'm getting ready to come back to my blog. I am still out here and making a go at my life, slow and steady.

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately so I think a complete re-vamp of the blog and a NEW 'About me' section will be in order.

Until I get to the launch I've attached a photo that says it all right now.

Keep on moving, slow and steady!
Jessica

Test post (and a really good day)

I'm testing my new iPhone app so that I can blog more often (and while I'm out and about).

Just a note about my good day, this morning I ran with my best friends, I appeared as an assistant Coach at the Team in Training Preview party, took a little nap and babysat my friends sleeping boys while they welcomed their new niece into the world - today was a good day!

More to come from Jessica, Slow and steady!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

why ? ?

WHY ????
1. Why do I sabotage myself?
2. Why do I deliberately make bad choices when no one is looking?
3. Why have I not run the month of December?
4. Why am I overwhelmed at work?
5. Why do I not designate time to study for my next test?
6. Why am I tired?
7. Why do my pants seem to keep shrinking?
8. Why can I not make my lunch?
9. Why do I go to be late and make getting up harder?
10. Why are my eyes blurry until 10am?
11. Why am I not more excited to be coaching Team in Training in January?
12. Why haven’t I registered for a race?
13. Why haven’t I ran a race since October 24th?
14. Why did I load the new iphone software and fail to run a backup and now have a blank phone (with new software)?
15. Why can’t I have a clean garage or shed?

Why…..

I know the answers (I think) but implementing them is hard…. I need to take control of my life, make small changes and they will lead me to what I am looking for – a happiness, a balance, a ‘I feel good’ feeling….

So here are some of my answers to my own questions above;
1. Self sabotage - because I’m sad, because I’m not in control

2. Deliberate bad choices - because I want the control, whether or not it is bad for me, no one can tell me what to do (I’m stubborn), and by no one seeing it, no one can judge it.

3. Lack of running - I don’t have any running mojo, maybe I was burnt out, and maybe my body needed some rest… I would like a stead fast running partner that I can talk to while running and that can encourage me to get out and move. I have lots of running friends, time to call in some favors…

4. Work - I feel overwhelmed at work because I am, I have a lot of work on my desk and all of my projects are in the same stage – so of course everyone needs everything right away. I need to delegate and prioritize the work, tell some people that it might be a day until their answer so that I can get one task complete, otherwise I’m a daily pinball machine.

5. Study time - I don’t designate time to study because I feel like I’m taking time away from my husband, by dog, my running (in the end I’m not getting studying, family time or running in…. Set aside some study time, maybe after a walk with the dog or at coffee with family.

6. Tired - I need to go to bed and sleep, not be restless (but sometimes I’m tired, but not really tired – restless mind, restless legs, but still tired), maybe running will make me physically tired so that I fall asleep faster. Bedtimes might need to be reinstated.

7. Small pants – duh, butt getting bigger and pants are the same size…. This one is a no-brainer.

8. Lunch – if I can’t find anything in the cupboard or fridge I just give up, if I would organize my groceries specific to my lunch would it make it easier? If so then DO IT!

9. Late to bed – see #6 answer – Bedtimes need to be reinstated! Brian needs a book light so I can sleep if he has his reading light on.

10. Blurry Eyes – See #6, #9 answers above – early morning workouts helped during the summer, I was able to spend blurry eye time working out and by the time I got to work I was invigorated (and not noticeable tired from working out).

11. TnT Coach – I should be totally jazzed to be a TnT Coach, our first practice is in January and we have a few info meetings before then. Maybe I’m not excited because I don’t feel worthy since I haven’t been running and my running clothes got smaller (see #7 above).

12. Upcoming races – why haven’t I registered for a race, dangle that carrot out there….. Barb from the Y-Run-Club mentioned running the Mercer Island Half Marathon in March, maybe I need to commit to that….

13. Race since October – the two races in October where really, really wet (I wore a poncho for the first and second time). That and Elinor has been concentrating on her family after dedicating so much time to her marathon training that I feel like I lost my best running partner. No excuse, I am a marathon maniac, get out there and run!

14. iphone – I am trying to be more tech savvy, but this one got me – I uploaded the new software and lost all of my contacts, photos, notes, layouts, everything. Still in the ‘no-way’ and ‘really?’ stage… still working to see if I can get the info back.

15. Garage/shed – I think this is everyone’s dream, but really, more crap keeps inching its way into the house and not enough is leaving. Does the New Year spur this need for clearing out in everyone? Make a donation box, a dump box and a sell on craigslist box and spend a few hours in there and get something done.

Slow and steady, working toward the positive goals with the answers that I have, that is all that I can do.... no resolutions here.... just life changing goals.

stepping away from the edge

ok, wow, can I go off on a torment or what? I guess I was near the edge last week...

I have taken that deep breath, redirected my thoughts and moved away from the edge. This past week I was on plan for eating and I was able to get six days of workouts in. My eating was not perfect, but I did stay within my Weight Watchers daily points and tried to incorporate more fruits and vegtables into my daily meals. Some days I got in amazing workouts (last nights spin class was amazing), some days I got in a 3 mile run, but I got myself out there six out of the seven days for some bit of real activity and it was really, really nice. Today after my speed workout on Ruston Way with Team in Training Coach Matt I weighed in at WW and was down one pound. I wanted it to be more, but hey, I was down a pound, better than up right? Nice photo of one pound of fat that I added - ok one pound is awesome, so much better than on my rear-end!!!!

So now here is what I am happy for (in bullet form - I have to sleep sometime...

• I ran at Chambers Bay with my best friend Elinor and Monica in the rain and it was fun!


• I will get fully paid for health care from my work next month (right now I have health care, but it is through hubby and his state job and with the way budget cuts are going I was getting a little scared).


• I get to run the North Olympic Discovery Marathon with Monica and Sydnee on Sunday and I can't wait!


• I lost one pound!!!


• I got in a lot of study time during the rainy weekend and I'm finding ways to incorporate it into my busy weekdays.


• I get to cheer on my Team in Training mentees on Saturday - they are doing their longest run - 2.5 hours for the half-marathoners and 4.5 hours for the full marathoners! I'll run some with them, but I'll be trying not to push it the day before a marathon.


• Getting back to blogging - I missed being able to have an outlet for all of this 'stuff' whirrling around in my head!


• Running speed intervals on June 2nd - National Running Day - how could I miss running on this day =)

I hope everyone has a great week and I'll try to get better photos for next week. I CAN do this, I CAN push harder, I CAN run farther, I CAN do this, I WILL!

help I'm floundering

help, I'm floundering in a weight gain hell.... someone, somewhere tell me I can do this! I'm letting everything eat away at me, everything in turn is getting eaten.... then I think how far I have to run to burn off that scone - then I just have a cookie at lunch and pass off the run to another day... erggg, aggggg, grrrrr - the cycle then repeats.....

I'm running the North Olympic Discovery Marathon on June 6th with a bunch of gal pals from the y-run club - to say I'm excited is not enough. I just need to get there.

I made it through a rough year, why am I screwing it up now?

Elinor has started running - I ran with her on Sunday, she is going great - and to think little Mr. is only 2 months old. Crap, if she can do it then why can't I?

I finished my outside project at work and I even signed up for my first architecture test - but I need something bigger! What about a trail marathon? What about a vacation? What about the bathroom painted a different color? See what I mean, I'm floundering!!!!!

off to watch the biggest loser - hopefully it will encourage me and not depress me......

update .... activity .... and rambling

I've been trying to sit down to write this blog all week... and something just keeps getting in the way. My goal was to post once a week and now I feel like I'm already behind. Guess the best I can do is start again here and forgive myself (how come that is what I feel like I'm always doing). Anyway.... I started the new year off on the right foot and the left foot and I repeated that for 26.2 miles at the First Call Marathon in Bothell on the first. It was a gloomy, cloudy, misty, rainy day, but I wanted to be there when Michelle crossed the finish line of her 52nd marathon before she turned 52! What an amazing goal and accomplishment - it is really great to see someone set a goal and accomplish it! Go read her blog and give here a kudos!. After the marathon on Friday I was expecting to take it easy for the weekend - ha! I met up with the Y-Run Club on Saturday morning, I was going to walk and then join everyone for coffee after. But I was talking with Monica and I just kinda started running and then it was 4.25 miles later and we were back at the YMCA - this was the first time I had ran the morning after a marathon. I was a little sore from the 26.2, but the short, slow run seemed to flush out my muscles and by Sunday I was like new (hey Michelle I think it worked)!

Saturday afternoon I met up with Jenny, Monica, Michelle, Elaine, Laurie, Lori, Sonya and others to tie blue ribbons on the South Tacoma Way overpass in honor of all of the fallen officers from Lakewood Police Department and Pierce County Sherrifs Office, then we went to the Lakewood Forza Coffee to gather and remember the fallen. It was special time and it was nice to share it with people who have such sincere good intentions and who just wanted to do something to remember the sacrifices these men and women made. It was a really special afternoon.

Sunday I went for a walk with Brian and Darby and got ready for the 'long' regular work week ahead. Monday night I tried to make it to spin class, but got stuck in terrible traffic so I walked on the treadmill and did the excercise bike - it was good, but not nearly as good of a sweat as the spin class. Tuesday I didn't feel like running at all, but I promised Darby that I would take her for a run, so I put my running clothes on and we hit the road. We ran from Emerald Ridge High School, up the hill and to Sunrise and back for 3 miles or so. It wasn't my best run ever, but I got out there and Darby kept my spirits high - dogs are just always happy!

Wednesday night I made it to spin class and made it into my 'last chance workout' ala The Biggest Loser. I worked really, really hard and made the workout count - I kept repeating 'I am strong' 'I am strong'. After the spin class I made it to my Weight Watchers meeting and I rocked the scale! I tracked all week and I was very active and it showed on the scale - I lost 3.6 lbs!!!! So far this week I haven't been as active, but I have still been tracking and I still have a few days to get a lot of activity in!

Today I made it to little Mr. Owen's first birthday party. I was really nice to see everyone get together and celebrate the little Dude's day. I got him a kiddo soccer ball and net, I think he'll be playing before he knows it. I even skipped the cake - ahh the will-power!

Sunday I'm going to run with the Y-Run Club at Point Defiance and get ready for another busy work week ahead - If last week was any indicator I'm in for a duezzy. Oh yeah, I have to get signed up for Haulin' Aspen marathon in Bend in August.

Upcoming races: Pigtails Flat Ass 50k (31 miles) on January 23. West Seattle Fat Ass (50k) on February 7th. I need to make some decisions on races in March - PacRim, Yakima Marathon - guess I'll need to get moving on my schedule....

slow and steady!

Run macha run!

a fresh start

isn't that what a new year is all about? a fresh start.... this past year has been memorable for the good and the bad - I am ready to start fresh!
Here are my proclamations - my goals - my accomplishments - my pats on the back

1. I've completed 6 marathons, 4 half-marathons, 1 50k and multiple 'fun' runs.
2. I want to run a lot in 2010 - I mean A LOT!
3. I have been diagnosed with cancer, survived surgery and I am now a survivor.
4. I have raised $4600 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
5. I am 16 hours away from completing my architectural internship development program.
6. I've been a running buddy for Girls on the Run and I got my sister, niece and nephew to compete in their first 5k.
7. In 2010 I plan to start taking my architecture licensing tests and make a plan to complete them.
8. I plan to be a better wife, friend, aunt, sister, daughter, running partner and person.
9. A better blogger - once a week - that can be a good goal - every post after that will be gravy.

I'm sure there is much more, but this is a fresh start to the blog - a re-birth for 2010! Stay posted, I have a lot that I haven't shared yet!

Here is to a fresh start!